As a little girl, I would often dream about having a family. It was important and something I really wanted in life. The Plan: at the ripe old age of 23-24, I would be married to my prince charming. Around the age of 27 or 28 my family would be complete. Looking back at the last 4 years as a parent. I am still in shock at all lessons that having kids has taught me about life.
I had my timeline a bit off. My husband and I met when I was 23, got married at 29 and had out first baby at 30. I was 32 when our second boy was born, now 34 and pregnant again.
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This week, I will talk about 3 things having kids has taught me. Having children is simply life changing. I have learned big lessons with each child, that I have brought in this world and that’s why I picked 3 lessons.
1. Biological clock started ticking with baby number one:
Never before had I experienced the feeling of not having enough time or time fleeing. I know everyone always says “this year flew by”, and that I have experienced, but not in the way I am talking about. The feeling is that of not having enough time with my kids. The feeling of watching your children age while you age is a very surreal and weird. I have wondered, if I would have had kids earlier in life, I would have had more time with them. The reality is, if I would have had kids earlier, I wouldn’t have had the kids I have today. That would make it a completely different set of circumstances and so on.
The clock ticking is inevitable and we can’t stop it. Enjoying every stage of your life as well as your kids lives, it is so important. We can easily overlook, mismanage and forget to appreciate each stepping stone along the way. What having kids taught me about life is enjoy the little things, because one day they will be the big things. I recommend using a journal to write down, not everything your child does, but the big things.
It doesn’t have to be pages and pages but just a quick sentience.
October 2021: Henry said “I love you Mama”
2. Baby number 2 is just more of the same routine and but requires more patience. Juggling 2 toddlers is no joke and is like a circus 95% of the time.
In our story, we had 2 under 2. Adding the second baby also added more diapers changes, more daycare money and less sleep for the first few years. We have 2 boys and they are wild, they push each others buttons and we are constantly having to figure out who is guilty of what this time.
We have the same daily routine, and it helps tremendously. On the days they have daycare they go to bed no later than 8. If we get off schedule you know what hits the fan. It is uncharted territory and we quickly realize that we have gone rouge and correct quickly.
Taking bubble baths after the kids go down and making sure you are drinking your peaceful mama tea nightly helps tremendously. Having a mom tribe, that you can lean on when times get tough or just to vent, is such a cathartic part of parenting. I always share my days with my husband but sometimes a good girl talk is exactly what I need. What having kids taught me about life is having patience and enjoying the chaos is key.
3. Having a third baby on the way, I have realized that this baby has to roll with the punches and fit in to our family of 4. We can’t change our whole life with this one like we did when becoming first time parents.
I can only imagine how it’s going to feel as parents, to be out numbered when we are at the zoo and our kids split up and run in different directions. I am taking less maternity leave than I did with the first 2 children. It seems like I will know what to do with this baby and that returning to work and normal life will be easier this time and necessary.
When your first baby comes into the world, everything changes. Autonomy flies out the window, your relationships and priorities change and the way you see your body is changed forever.
Becoming Campbell Party of 5, we are going to have to keep the routine for the boys the same while incorporating a new member. It is going to be a different world all together. We will have to add Barbies, baby dolls and princess to the baskets of cars, truck and dinosaurs. I hope they all get along.
I think of adults as babies, what I mean by that is if I am driving down the road and I see for example a homeless person. The upbringing the person may have had or the lessons they may have received or missed as a child come rushing in my brain. I have a lot of empathy for people and their circumstances and it makes me wonder about their parents, environment of their upbringing and life choices. This is something I thought about without children but with a different perspective. I see people struggling and think “wow that’s someones child” instead of I wonder what “they” did wrong. I wonder if their parents are alive, dead or if they are still involved at holidays.
Check out the blog about the daily routine, what we do in a day and why it works for us.